Narcissistic Mothers Strange Sexuality

Many Narcissistic Mothers have strange attitudes towards sex. This isn't part of the official criteria, but the experience of so many DONMs with this issue leads me to know it can be part of the mix.

Maybe it's about lack of boundaries which is a totally narcissistic trait. Or maybe (and probably more likely) there is more going on than just Narcissistic Personality Disorder, such as Histronic Personality Disorder. Whatever it is, it's horrible.

They might be over-sexual and act inappropriately flirty, maybe with their daughters' boyfriends or other inappropriate people. (Flirting with their daughters' boyfriends also invades her boundaries, making sure the daughters know their place in the grand scheme of things.)

Or they might blur boundaries again by giving their daughters too much information re their own sex lives.

This might even blur the boundaries between inappropriate behaviour and sexual abuse. In healthy relationships mothers are physically intimate in many ways with their daughters anyway (such as for hygiene reasons when the daughter is young enough, or trying on clothes in a shop together), so it's easy for inappropriate behaviour to slip in in unhealthy relationships. We have heard examples on the forum that definitely veer into sexual abuse, but of such a subtle kind that the victims didn't even realise that's what it was. Which is, in itself, a form of gaslighting.

I am lucky that my own mother did not fall into any of these extremes. In fairness I think she dealt with sexual issues with me very maturely and very appropriately.

But I know that these issues do cause big problems for daughters who've experienced them, and that is all too many.

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Books About NPD

Click the button below for a comprehensive list of books which are bought most often by visitors to this site, to help in the quest for understanding and healing.

You're Not Crazy -- It's Your Mother

youre not crazy it's your mother

The book that will explain your life to you in a way you never could, that makes sense of the narcissistic upbringing, and provides hope and tools to move on from it.

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Dear Daughter -- 100 Letters For Healing And Thriving

Dear Daughter Of A Narcissistic Mother

The book is a collection of the first 100 emails in my Guidebook To Healing And Thriving. You can get them all for free by subscribing to the Guidebook, but it will take you two years to get them all. This way you can have them all together, now, to hold in your hand and refer to whenever you want.

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To The Unloved Daughter - Notes From Your Inner Mother

To The Unloved Daughter - Notes From Your Inner Mother

These Notes From Your Inner Mother are what a loving mother would say to you, her daughter. They’re what you need and deserve to hear.

Click Here For More Information