What they mean

1) I want to manipulate you.

2) You’re showing signs of breaking away and I want to suck you back in.

3) I’ve heard people say this and it seems to get a good reaction.

4) I command you to love me.

If you don’t make the 650 mile pilgrimage to celebrate me, I promise I will do something to make you pay dearly.

Be gone, I have no interest in my own children.

You are only here because homicide would get me jail time, and I thought you’d be a better slave, so I didn’t opt for adoption.

I resent your emotions, but at least I can use them to hurt you.

1) Damned if I’m going to admit it.

2) Yes I said that but it doesn’t work in the conversation right now.

3) I know I said it but it’s so much fun to f*** with your head until you don’t know what is true and you think you really are crazy! Yeah me!!! 

1) I am running low on my Narcissistic Supply and need another fix.

2) I don’t care how you’re doing; I really just want to talk about me.

My version of events shows me in a better light, so that’s the official version.

I know you’ve done a lot for me in the past, but that was then and it no longer counts. What have you done for me today?

None of my ploys have worked to pull you back so now I will treat you like a child.

1) I miss having control over you.

2) I’m lacking my Narcissistic Supply – please provide it pronto.

I’m not getting the usual emotional response from you and you are too dim-witted to have figured out how to shut me down on your own.

You had better step up your game.

1 You have made me feel good and/or *I* feel good because of you.

2) I can take credit for that accomplishment.

Why are you wasting your time on something so silly and that takes you away from me?

I plan to interfere in the upbringing of your children by spoiling them, disciplining them differently to your way, and ignoring your decisions and wishes regarding them. I will not acknowledge your position and rights as the mother of these children. I may even steal them from you.

I think …

1) I’d better ask, but don’t worry I won’t really be listening. Or as soon as you say a trigger word, which reminds me of something else, I’ll interrupt and be off again!

2) I’m running out of things to boast to my friends about, so please come up with some accomplishments.

Sigh … I’d better at least mention it, and let you talk for one, maybe two, sentences about your upset and grief, and then I can talk about myself again.

You resisted my attempts to violate your boundaries, abuse you and humiliate you.

It’s so exciting! I love being this close to tragedies! I feel so important!

1) I will, on rare occasion, say the words but never change my behaviour.

2) Sigh, I’ll say it if it’ll stop you moaning, but don’t worry, I don’t mean it.

1) Let’s pretend everything is ok and I’m not a nightmare of a mother so I can continue to torture you and get my Narcissistic Supply.

2) Let me play my narcissist’s game of never being held accountable for my behaviour.

I want to take away any pleasure or pride you have in your own cooking skills.

All I really want is for you give me my Narcissistic Supply.

I’m pissed that you are denying me my much needed Narcissistic Supply. Damn you!

You have to let me treat you exactly as I please, without ever complaining.

I demand the freedom to interfere in your life any time I want.
That is my right!

Why are you no longer the easily manipulated and uncomplaining-of-abuse girl I raised you to be?

Wah wah wah I have violated your boundaries most of your life but even so I resent the hell out of your standing your ground and refusing to allow me to interfere, manipulate and control you.

I have the right to interfere in your life and abuse you without any consequences. 

You are really just a child, after all. I’ll never acknowledge that you are now an adult.

It’s really because you will then be beholden to me and this gives me great leverage to milk you for Narcissistic Supply.

I will not be held accountable for my actions and behaviours!

I will not be held accountable for my actions and behaviours!

I will not be held accountable for my actions and behaviours!

I will not be held accountable for my actions and behaviours!

I will over-run your life and suck the life force from you and your children. 

I am so glad that I brought that sticky bun with me on this visit. 

I will invalidate your feelings as I have done your whole life. 

You got that from me! 

You won’t let me abuse you.

1) You won’t let me away with what I did, nor let me continue to trample all over you.

2) I expect forgiveness with no apology and no intention of doing differently in future.  

I am not accepting your decision/opinion. Keep thinking until you come to the correct conclusion.

I did say/do it, and I did mean it, but damned if I’m going to acknowledge that.

You defended yourself from my lies!

Here is something, very likely something I have no more use for, that I am officially giving to you. But it is still mine, and therefore I get to say, forever more, what you do with it. And woebetide you don’t appreciate it enough, over and over.