Books About NPD

Here is a selection of recommended books about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and of interest to DONMs generally. 

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You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother

You’re Not Crazy – It’s Your Mother

My best-selling book about being the daughter of a narcissistic mother. This book was written to give you understanding of the whole narcissistic mother dynamic, and to validate and encourage and support you. This book is also part of the comprehensive and best-value Mega DONM Resources Bundle.

Dear Daughter of a narcissistic mother

Dear Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother

This book is a collection of the first 100 emails in my Guidebook To Healing And Thriving. You can get them all for free by subscribing to the Guidebook, but it will take you two years to get them all. This way you can have them all together, now, to hold in your hand and refer to whenever you want.This book is also part of the comprehensive and best-value Mega DONM Resources Bundle.

Dear Daughter of a narcissistic mother

To The Unloved Daughter … Notes From Your Inner Mother

These Notes are designed to read as if they’re from your own inner mother, the part of you who is your own wise mother to yourself. This wisdom and love is accessible to you through your quietness and attention, and these notes are from that place of healing and kindness. This book is also part of the comprehensive and best-value Mega DONM Resources Bundle.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

One of the most widely purchased and widely read books on being the daughter of a narcissistic mother, this book is the first one I read and absolutely opened my eyes.

Children Of The Self Absorbed

Children Of The Self-Absorbed

An absolute classic for children of narcissists. It helps you identify if you parent is indeed a narcissist, and then makes the point that there is nothing you can do to change them, and nothing you did to cause them to mis-treat you.

Drama Of The Gifted Child

The Drama Of The Gifted Child

This book, an absolute classic by the renowned Alice Miller, is a must-read for daughters of narcissistic mothers.

Be aware though, that it’s a tough read, liable to arouse strong emotions. So bear that in mind when you are considering reading it.

The Gift Of Fear

The Gift Of Fear

This book is probably a must-read for everybody, but absolutely is an essential read for daughters of narcissistic mothers. Our own intuition and trust in our own perspective tends to be damaged by gaslighting – and this book gives direct information on those important aspects of human safety.

There is also hugely important information on what to do if you’re stalked – which Engulfing Narcissistic Mothers can often do.

The Emotionally Absent Mother

The Emotionally Absent Mother

Women who were “undermothered” as children often struggle with intimate relationships, in part because of their unmet need for maternal care. The Emotionally Absent Mother will help you understand what was missing from your childhood, how this relates to your mother’s own history, and how you can fill the “mother gap.

The Emotionally Absent Mother

Emotional Blackmail: When The People In Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, And Guilt To Manipulate You

This book presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers an arsenal of tools to fight back. In her clear, no-nonsense style, the author provides powerful, practical strategies for blackmail targets, including checklists, practice scenarios and concrete communications techniques that will strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good. 

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins Of Narcissism

In this ground-breaking book clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships.

The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships

The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free Of Exploitive Relationships

Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds–chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. This book explains why these bonds form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships.

Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters

Mothers Who Can’t Love: A Healing Guide For Daughters

This book offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters—and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

A classic book – I remember coming across it first about twenty years ago. It deals with all sorts of toxicity rather than just narcissism, and provides solutions for moving on and healing.

Narcissistic Predicaments: A Biblical Guide to Navigating the Schemes, Snares, and No-Win Situations Unique to Abusive Families

Narcissistic Predicaments: A Biblical Guide to Navigating […] Abusive Families

This book is by Sister Renee of the Luke 17:3 Ministries website, and offers a Christian perspective on their challenging mother/ daughter relationship.

Books To Help With Your Parenting

As a DONM, we have no healthy role-model for how to be a mother and a parent. So we have to learn these skills proactively and consciously. These two books are the best I have found to help you become the parent your child deserves, and to give you security and confidence as a mother.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

I love, love, LOVE this book and recommend it unreservedly. I think every new parent should be given a copy of it. It helps parents to raise children in ways which both validate them and help parents discipline them. And of course, for us DONMs, who didn’t get a good role model of parenting, we need to learn good parenting consciously – and I truly believe you cannot get a better handbook and resource than this one.

Giving The Love That Heals

Giving The Love That Heals

This ground-breaking book offers a unique opportunity for personal transformation: by resolving issues that originated in our own childhood, we can achieve a conscious, and thus healthier, relationship with our children, regardless of their age.

Books For Self-Development And Healing

Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out

Happy For No Reason

I personally have read, and love, this book. I recommend it highly. Marci Shimoff introduces many good tools (including EFT/Tapping) to help us achieve happiness.

Her basic point is that we can all increase our base happiness levels. For sure problems and bereavements can make us temporarily unhappy, but we can all improve our underlying happiness levels.

The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time

The Art Of Extreme Self-Care

Looking after ourselves can be a challenge for DONMs, and this book gives practical and comprehensive steps to start doing that very thing. It helps you do things like: surround yourself with people who give and take, eliminate clutter, create a soul-nourishing work- and home-environment, get your finances in order, stop making commitments based on guilt or obligation, and make pleasure a priority.