The aim of this website is to provide information and resources to help you as a DONM (Daughter Of A Narcissistic Mother) to understand and heal from your dysfunctional upbringing, and to validate your experiences (especially since you were gaslighted all your life most likely.)

I am a writer by trade, and a daughter of a narcissistic mother by circumstance, and as a writer my work is to use words to help people understand.

And being a daughter of a narcissistic mother is such a nebulous and amorphous thing that, even as we’re experiencing it, we don’t understand it or even recognise it.

My first aim therefore is to help daughters of narcissistic mothers understand and recognise what is going on. The main feedback I get is: “You put words on something I couldn’t even begin to. You made sense of it all when there had been no sense before.”

I want to validate your experience through the knowledge that yes, this personality disorder exists, and yes, these are the ways a narcissistic mother behaves, and yes, it is entirely credible that this is what happened to you, no matter what she says to the contrary.

And once this abuse is understood, I want to help daughters of narcissistic mothers to heal from it.

The main tool I share is EFT, also known as Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping.

When I first came across EFT I was so sceptical. It looked silly, and it was totally counter-intuitive that something so simple (and silly!) as tapping on acupuncture points could heal trauma. But it cost nothing to give it a try, and I was desperate, and so, making sure nobody could see me, I tried it.

And it was a revelation. The power of this simple silly-looking technique was phenomenal. It just zaps, or erases, the trauma and limiting beliefs.

I learned the process better, originally just to heal myself, but the more I got into it the more I realised this was too good to keep to myself, and so I trained more in it and shared it with others.

And when I had the narcissism realisation I realised that EFT is the perfect tool to help heal being the daughter of a narcissistic mother.

There are both paid and free EFT resources on this site.

I truly feel that a lot of things in my life, which I thought were unconnected strands, have led to this point – to sharing EFT with other such daughters of narcissistic mothers.

I have been lucky because my mother was far less extreme of a narcissist than many, so perhaps I didn’t have as much healing to do, and also I have done so much healing with EFT over the years, even without knowing about NPD. (More to do of course! I’m still a work-in-progress myself.)

This isn’t the journey I thought I’d be on. I never planned to set up a website or write a book on this topic. I was doing other things, things that were important to me. And I’m neglecting them, to some extent at least, to do this. But that’s okay – this is important, and it has come to me even if I didn’t seek it out. I hope to go back to my other projects in the future.

Lastly, if I recommend resources I may or may not be receiving a commission for that recommendation. But my absolute guarantee to you is that I will not recommend anything I don’t wholeheartedly stand over.

Danu