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Never Good Enough

One of the big themes of being the Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother is that of feeling never good enough. It's not surprising - all our lives, we're told - by word, deed, and neglect - that we're not good enough. That message - received so many times, from such a young age, from somebody we're programmed to trust and depend on - is installed very deeply in our psyche.

Erasing the belief that we're not good enough and that we'll never be good enough, is an essential part of healing from being the Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother.

This selection of videos is designed to heal that belief, using the power of EFT.

Note: The EFT I share here is based very closely on the original EFT by Gary Craig but there are a few minor variations (I add another tapping point, for example). See his website www.emofree.com for the official version.

Also note that use of these videos implies acceptance of the Disclaimer and Terms of Use of these videos.

There are three videos. The first one involves tapping on the current belief, i.e. that you're not good enough. The second involves transitional statements - you still believe you're not good enough but you're now able to see/believe that that mightn't be true. And the third is positive 'good enough' messages to say while you're tapping. Tapping while saying positive affirmations is very powerful anyway, but it's much better to get rid of the old negative beliefs first, to make room for the positive ones.

Before you start, say aloud the statement: "I'm just not good enough," and judge how true that statement is for you, on a 0-10 scale, where 0 = Not at all true, and 10 = totally true.

Know, too, that it's important that the truth or otherwise of the Not-good-enough statment is at a deep level. Rationally you may know that it's not true, but it still feels true. Check the page on Negative Self-Talk to see why there are two kinds of beliefs.

Write down this score - it's important to write it down, rather than merely remember it.

Also, take a drink of water before you start - this process works much better if you're well hydrated - and have water with you, that you can sip on from time to time.

And then start the first video below, and follow along with it. At various points I ask you to check the Truth Score and see if it has shifted, i.e. become less true for you. The eventual goal, of course, is to get it to a score of 0, so that the Not-good-enough statement is not at all true.