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 Narcissistic Parent Survival Kit

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Narcissism Traits

Does your mother have any, or many narcissism traits?  Narcissism traits are the definitive list which decides if somebody has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The official criteria from the current DSM V are listed here.

The following narcissism traits are the list from the old DSM IV. I've kept htem here as they are still interesting to read.

Narcissism Traits:

  1. A person with narcissistic personality disorder has a grandiose sense of self-importance,
  2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love,
  3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique,
  4. requires excessive admiration,
  5. has a sense of entitlement,
  6. is interpersonally exploitative,
  7. lacks empathy,
  8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her,
  9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.  


These narcissism traits do not, of course, even begin to describe the many difficulties of having been raised by a narcissistic mother. (My book You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother, does that, in validating detail.) And, of course, many of the narcissistic mothers don't have all of those narcissism traits - don't forget, she only needs five! And I personally find that these narcissism traits are difficult to judge because how do we know what her internal fantasies are, for example (i.e. Trait 2).

What will help you identify much more clearly if your mother has narcissistic personality disorder is not so much this list of narcissism traits, as a list of characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. These are how the narcissism traits manifest themselves in daily life. I do invite you to check those out and see if they resonate with you.

These narcissism traits aren't pretty. They're certainly not pretty to endure. The effects on daughters of narcissistic mothers are many and varied.

Drew Keys (Light of lightshouse.org) has created The Toxicity Test, an 81-question interactive test so you can find out if it really is your mother being toxic, or you over-reacting. I took it twice, both for my mother and my father, and even though I've been speaking about this stuff for years now, I still found it to be incredibly validating and reassuring and helpful. I recommend it. Find out about it here.

 





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