For years, DONMs have been asking me if I did one-to-one work, and I said no. I explained how I wasn't qualified in counselling, that I'm just an ordinary fellow-DONM. I didn't think I had any value to offer.
But people kept asking me would I speak with them one-to-one, and saying that my experience and perspective were my qualifications.
And so, I have been inspired to offer this service to those who would like it. DONMs are getting good results from it as you can read below.
What would you get on a coaching call with me? You would get:
- Understanding: this may be the most important one. I understand what it's like being raised by a narcissist, and you do not need to explain or convince me as you might have had to do with conventional therapists.
- Validation: Again, unlike some other therapists, I will totally get what you have been through and I won't dismiss it with platitudes about all mothers being annoying, or assuring you that she really loves you.
- Compassion: I think all DONMs need full and genuine compassion.
- A listening ear: Someone to really hear you.
- Perspective: To explain events to you in light of the narcissism so that you understand them better and they begin to make sense.
- Non-directive advice: By non-directive advice I mean I can give you alternative strategies you might not have thought about. But I am very clear that I do not push anybody in any direction. The two essential things are 1) figuring out what you want, and 2) having clear information about possibilities.
I can include Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping as part of the coaching if you wish, but the coaching stands alone as the default.
If this sounds like something you would get value from, I invite you to book one hour's coaching via Paypal. The cost is $50. I will then contact you to arrange a time to chat by Skype. (Of course this is all done manually I might not contact you absolutely immediately, with time zones'n'weekends'n'all, but rest assured that I will do so as soon as I can.)
Please note that I am in the GMT time zone. This link will tell you what time it is for me whenever you check. We'll have to work around that. For example, if you are in the USA, I would probably not be available in the evenings your time as that would be night time for me.
I very much look forward to working with you if this is right for you,
p.s., do remember that I am not a qualified counsellor or therapist, so please use your common sense on this as to whether I am the right person for you.
Get one hour's personal coaching:
These are the kind of things people are saying about the coaching (shared with permission):
"Hi Danu, That was a great session yesterday! You validated many things for me, and you shined a light on a couple of things I definitely need to look at and that I hadn’t realized. I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me, your great level of understanding and insight, & I look forward to chatting with you again soon."
"Danu thanks for the chat we had. I was feeling very trapped in this never ending toxic relationship with my mom but talking to you made me realise there is a way out. Thanks a lot!"
And this (specific details in her email removed for privacy. Also this client and I worked with EFT):
"Thank you so much for today's session. I had no expectations but was amazed and relieved at what actually happened during the session. It has clarified so much for me, things that up until today I was unaware of. I've worked on [these issues] for years, alone and with other [EFT] practitioners, but nothing has shifted like it did today. It really got to the heart of it. Thank you for helping me."
She also wrote in another email:
"Just want to mention how liberating it is to know that you understand the narc behaviours and its effects! There's a sense of being acknowledged, understood and not victimised for what happened and what "they" do. I don't have to explain or feel guilty. With therapists in the past I've sensed them looking at me strangely and not really getting it, like it was in my head or how could I possibly say what I was saying. With you, I don't even have to go into the content, just knowing you "know" is validation enough. Knowing that you "get" what my family are like and how it affected me makes all the difference."