Cause Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The exact cause of Narcissistic Personality Disorder has yet to be fully proven. Indeed, to the best of my knowledge, scientists aren't even specifically looking to find the cause of narcissistic personality disorder. 

Having said that, they have considered it of course.

Originally the theory was that childhood abuse led to the narcissist being so ashamed of their real self, the one which deserved (in their mind) the abuse, that they submerged it so deep that it went away.

And so, because the real self was gone, they needed something, so they created a perfect False Self instead.

That False Self then had to be kept in place throughout the narcissist's whole life by huge effort and determination. The narcissists needed the False Self to be perfect (went the theory), and so one of their major jobs was to protect it against any suggestion, ever, that they were less than perfect.

This fact did explain things like gaslighting and invalidating which the narcissist does so well. 

This theory struggled, however, when they were presented with a narcissist who'd had an idyllic childhood. So they added to the theory saying that abuse could also be that the child was too adored and too privileged and indulged. 

In this case it seemed that the child was never allowed to have their real, flawed, self. The parents instead created this perfect False Self, and the child needed to keep hold of that in order to be loved by them.

This however was pretty much just guesswork. 

However, we now know that two of Narcissistic Personality Disorder's 'cousin' personality disorders, i.e. Borderline Personality Disorder, and Anti-Social Personality Disorder (aka Sociopathy), show real and measurable differences in the brains of those who have it. So, if this is so, those disorders at least seem to be integral rather than learned behaviour, unless abuse caused the brain changes.

Also, the fact that it seems to run in families makes me wonder if there's not a genetic predisposition. When I ran the DONM forum, so many times I heard of women who'd given their children perfectly normal loving childhoods, but the children still had Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which lends credibility to that theory too.

So, the short answer is that we don't know what is the cause of narcissistic personality disorder. Not yet.

And it's important to know the cause. Many daughters of narcissistic mothers have said to me that they want to know if it's their mother's fault, if it's something she can help doing or not. 

In a way though, it doesn't matter I think. We don't have to identify why she's like this, to accept that she is, and to acknowledge that we deserve better. 

The Best-Selling Book:

You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother

What they say:

The Mega DONM Resources Bundle

Over $125.00 of value for only $24.99.
Watch the video below for more info, or click here.

The Healing Club

The Healing Club is a way of bringing you quick, easy and affordable recovery from your abusive upbringing. Watch the video below and/or click here for more information.

Emotional Freedom Technique

Emotional Freedom Technique (also known as EFT or Tapping) is a major tool for quickly and easily healing all the pain of being the Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother.
 
EFT is like turbo-charged counselling. You can learn it yourself for free, and use it whenever you like. A resource that's literally at your fingertips forever. You owe it to yourself to check it out.

Books About NPD

Click the button below for a comprehensive list of books which are bought most often by visitors to this site, to help in the quest for understanding and healing.

I invite you to sign up for my FREE “DONM Guidebook for Healing and Thriving”.

A new chapter of the Guidebook will be sent to you every week for you to build up into your own comprehensive resource. Themes include: how to heal from the abuse, dealing with your narcissistic mother, reclaiming your truth and many more. Your privacy is guaranteed and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Watch the video for more information, 

and subscribe then if you choose. As soon as you confirm your subscription, the first issue will arrive in your inbox instantly.

Subscribe Here:






 Email:
 

Notes From Your Inner Mother

If your inner mother, the one who loves you, could speak to you, these notes are what she'd say.

Notes From Your Inner Mother

Notes From Your Inner Mother is a series of over 200 notes from your inner mother, the one who really loves you. These notes are written to inspire, validate, support and encourage you the way you always deserved but did not receive from your narcissistic mother.

$4.99 delivered straight to your inbox in 3 formats so you can download to iReaders, Kindle, or read on your computer.

Play the video for more info.

(Also available as part of The Mega DONM Resources Bundle)