And other books of interest
Here is a selection of recommended books about NPD, and books to help your recovery from its abuse. These links go to your local Amazon website.
I do receive a small commission if you buy any of these books through Amazon, which helps with the running costs of this site.
You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother
My best-selling book about being the daughter of a narcissistic mother. This book was written to give you understanding of the whole narcissistic mother dynamic, and to validate and encourage and support you. This book is also part of the comprehensive and best-value Mega DONM Resources Bundle.
Children Of The Self Absorbed
An absolute classic for children of narcissists. It helps you identify if you parent is indeed a narcissist, and then makes the point that there is nothing you can do to change them, and nothing you did to cause them to mis-treat you.
The remainder of the book is about helping you recover from this. There are many helpful exercises in this book too - and a lot of the benefit of the book comes from actually doing them.
The Gift Of Fear
This book is probably a must-read for everybody, but absolutely is one for daughters of narcissistic mothers. Our own intuition and trust in our own perspective tends to be damaged by gaslighting - and this book gives direct information on those important aspects of human safety.
There is also hugely important information on what to do if you're stalked - which Engulfing Narcissistic Mothers can often do.
The Emotionally Absent Mother
Women who were “undermothered” as children often struggle with intimate relationships, in part because of their unmet need for maternal care. The Emotionally Absent Mother will help you understand what was missing from your childhood, how this relates to your mother’s own history, and how you can fill the “mother gap.
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
This book presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers an arsenal of tools to fight back. In her clear, no-nonsense style, the author provides powerful, practical strategies for blackmail targets, including checklists, practice scenarios and concrete communications techniques that will strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good.
Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism
In this ground-breaking book clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships.
The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds--chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. This book explains why these bonds form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships.
Narcissistic Predicaments: A Biblical Guide to Navigating the Schemes, Snares, and No-Win Situations Unique to Abusive Families
This book is by Sister Renee of the Luke 17:3 Ministries website, and offers a Christian perspective on their challenging mother/ daughter relationship.
Books About Parenting
Of course we have to parent differently than we were parented, but where do we start with that?
These books are a very, very good start.
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
I love, love, LOVE this book and recommend it unreservedly. I think every new parent should be given a copy of it. It helps parents to raise children in ways which both validate them and help parents discipline them. And of course, for us DONMs, who didn't get a good role model of parenting, we need to learn good parenting consciously - and I truly believe you cannot get a better handbook and resource than this one.
Books For Self-Development And Healing
Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out
I personally have read, and love, this book. I recommend it highly. Marci Shimoff introduces many good tools (including EFT/Tapping) to help us achieve happiness.
Her basic point is that we can all increase our base happiness levels. For sure problems and bereavements can make us temporarily unhappy, but we can all improve our underlying happiness levels.
The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time
Looking after ourselves can be a challenge for DONMs, and this book gives practical and comprehensive steps to start doing that very thing. It helps you do things like: surround yourself with people who give and take, eliminate clutter, create a soul-nourishing work- and home-environment, get your finances in order, stop making commitments based on guilt or obligation, and make pleasure a priority.