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Are you experiencing fear of your narcissistic mother?

It's totally understandable - you were raised to fear her and so your body and mind react automatically to her rage.

Dear Fellow DoNM,

It totally sucks, doesn't it?

No matter how much you tell yourself you're an adult woman and she can't hurt you now, you still go back to being a scared little girl at the merest raise of her eyebrow, or beginning of a frown, or when she takes a deep breath in prior to letting go a torrent of abuse. Your heart rate goes right up and your breath grows shallow and tense.

And when she goes on one of her tirades - well, you just crumple. And it means that you can't stand up for yourself - so she gets to bully you as much as she wants, and make you do what she wants. And no matter how much you hate it, you cannot stop it happening.

Does this resonate with you?

If so, you need to know that it's NOT your fault. It isn't a flaw or weakness in you. It's just that she trained you so well, from birth, to be scared of her, and your body and mind have learned that so well. The fear is an automatic reaction now, no matter how old you are.

Absolute Warning: This information ONLY applies if she's not violent or dangerous. If she is, then you need to do practical things to keep yourself safe. The information here is only for situations where she is 'merely' emotionally and psychologically abusive - but you are terrified of that happening.

The good news is that you don't have to stay so scared of her!

In fact, this might be the important information you've ever read, because I'm about to share with you a secret way of literally erasing this fear from your body and mind.

Imagine what it would be like to:

	Let go all fear of her.
	Be totally calm when she starts her rants and rages.
	Not be affected in anyway at her tantrums and narcissistic rages (except perhaps for a mild exasperation or amusement).
	Totally erase that flight-or-fight reaction.
	Be free to make your own decisions regardless of whether she'll like it or not because her reaction won't affect you or concern you.

It would be wonderful, wouldn't it! Imagine the sheer bliss of it.

Well you don't just have to imagine it. You can live it. Read on to find out how.

So what is this secret which
can free you from your fear of her?

The solution is EFT, also called Tapping. It involves nothing more complex than tapping gently on acupuncture points, and it literally erases negative emotions such as the terror she so easily arouses in you.

And it does that amazingly quickly and easily. Just zaps the fear into oblivion. It's hard to describe it until you've experienced it - the fear just fades away till it's completely and utterly gone! Vanished, eradicated and non-existent.

What EFT is NOT:

	It is NOT talk-therapy. Although there is usually an element of talking, it is really body-work with a talking element, rather than just talking.
	It is NOT hypnosis. Although you might find it relaxing, you do not go into any kind of hypnotic trance.
	It is NOT faith-healing. You absolutely do not have to believe it for it to work. You can be as sceptical as you like.
	It is NOT in any way religious. There is no belief system whatsoever needed.

How EFT is different from traditional counselling:

	It makes changes at a much deeper level. Did you ever know something rationally, but not know it deep down? With EFT you experience the acceptance and peace deep down, in your gut and heart and soul, not just as an abstract theory.
	It's much, much quicker. Changes that used to take months of therapy can now happen in tens of minutes, or hours at most.
	It's much gentler - you can even heal your issue without talking or even thinking about it - you just give it a title or label, and work on that until it's easy to think/talk about.
	It's much cheaper: as it's so much quicker, it costs so much less.
	Quite frankly, EFT makes traditional counselling obsolete. Why just talk about it when you can *heal* it?

I came to EFT when I was trying to heal what I now know is the DONM legacy, and I was blown away by the results. It changed my life, literally. I erased issue after issue after issue (traumas, addictions, phobias, limiting beliefs and other blocks), and life just kept getting better and better in terms of better health, better relationships and more joy and contentment in my life. (And I am still using EFT every day, and improving my life every day.)

I then trained as an EFT practitioner - because I knew this was too good to keep to myself, and have helped hundreds of clients over the past seven years to erase phobias, traumas, anxiety and a myriad of other issues. You can see some of the non-DONM feedback here.

As soon as I realised about the unique crazy-making upbringing we DONMs have, I knew that EFT could powerfully resolve these issues quickly and easily. This is why I share, on this site, a video on how to do EFT so you can use it for yourself. The resource is very real and very good, but the challenge is that usually people find it very difficult to know what to say as they tap. And so I have come up with a solution I'm very excited about:

I have created a script in which I guide you
as you gently erase every bit of this fear.

This script is very carefully crafted, using my many years of EFT experience combined with my lifetime of DONM experience, to give you a resource which will quite simply erase this issue.

This resourse is unique in the world - created by a DONM for DONMs, addressing the unique issues our crazy upbringing has given us.

Here some comments from DONM forum members who have benefited from their experiences with EFT:

Eating Healthily!

Just checked my food diary and was amazed to see that I didn't eat anything for 2 hours after tapping [The 'Self-Harm' video] - wow! And what I did eat was a cheese and tomato croissant followed 2½ hours later by some mushroom soup.
So I'm seeing results already!

Forum Member 'Not Guilty Anymore'

This is so awesome Danu, I’m so grateful to you for getting me back into EFT again.

Forum Member 'Not Guilty Anymore'

House getting tidier and decluttering!

My house is getting tidier by the minute and I find at times I have the strongest urge to go throw something, anything out! I'm only doing this very slowly but it's a start. I've always had great difficulty parting with anything.

Forum Member 'Not Guilty Anymore'

I was able to do my work despite my resistance.

As the results of my neglect [i.e. her business sabotage] became clear today, I had the urge to commit more neglect. I found myself reaching for the mouse to [waste time on the internet] and I checked a couple of news sites about four times. I decided if I was going to do something other than work than it would be EFT. So, I did the self-harm session and then the healing resistance video. While I still felt really disappointed, I got back to work.

Forum Member 'Christine'

The most productive day yet since doing the Tapping!

I think today was probably the most productive day since the beginning of EFT. I did the healing resistance first today and then the self-harm sessions. The huge difference is that [the fallout from her business neglect] would have been proof of my “incompetence” two weeks ago. Today it was “what can I do to mitigate the fallout.”

Forum Member 'Christine'

Used EFT to avoid displacement activities and do the work!

Well, the marketing email is done and queued up to go out at 9:00 am. I stopped in the middle of the process and did and EFT session on hiding. I just wanted to go to the dog park or do something else completely. I had plenty of opportunities to run away so I thought a good session in the middle of it all would help. I think it did. I got some writing done as well.

Forum Member 'Christine', who had been sabotaging by not doing her marketing.)

A superb script!

The script is absolutely ideal for this self-harm/DoNM stuff! It's specific enough to target this particular phenomenon, but broad enough for each person to apply to her own particular penchant for self-harm/neglect/punishment. A superb job, Danu; thank you so much!

Forum Member 'Alex'

This is done in the form of a diary entry by forum member 'Reader'.

Got taken on by an agency after Tapping!

EFT for five days in a row
Feel confident enough to finally apply to a professional talent agency
Get signed with an agency within the hour
Have a complete DoNM-style FREAK OUT that I suck at everything and who the hell do I think I am signing with an agent?
Make the conscious choice to ignore the inner demons and go back to EFT
A few days of calm
Sign up for multiple auditions and become absolutely shameless about self promotion
Have another major FREAK OUT and think I suck at everything
More EFT
I'm currently in a calm place where I still hear the inner voices telling me I suck, but I am making the conscious choice to tap-tap-tap when I feel that anxiety and proceed anyway.
I've also been writing like mad and have plans to push my writing to a literary agency. Feeling major anxiety around that, too, but screw it. Back to EFT. Gonna do it. Life is short.
So this is amazing stuff.

Forum Member 'Reader'

And here's the most recent feedback I got. I know it's long, but it's well worth reading as it brings up a LOT of relevant issues. You'll see, for example, that this person started getting real and measurable results in only 8 days, and lots more important information.

Measurable results after only 8 days Tapping!

Hi Danu,

I know...it's too early for a success story since I only bought these downloads on 8 days ago. However, I still felt I wanted to speak to you.

I have practiced EFT for over seven years, TFT for four years and cognitive therapy for almost thirty. Both of my parents are card-carrying narcissists and I bore the brunt of this madness and my mother, especially, was diabolical. What I realized is that no one directly deals with the feelings that any child of a narcissist has because few understand it. So when I used EFT myself I got close but never was able to address the issues that you cover because even I didn't understand what I was feeling.

I have the manuals but I prefer to watch you on the video because you are such a comforting presence, I don't have to feel alone and you have such a beautiful voice.

The first video I tapped along to ("Self-Punishment") I felt so good- and then suddenly craved a box of See's candy. I was shocked because I used to have a severe craving for See's that I had dealt with before and hadn't eaten in years. However, sitting and tapping through the feelings, the craving went away completely- and I knew I was on the right track. At first, I thought that the "Self-Punishment" video wasn't about me because my (and probably others') issues have long been ignored or misidentified - yet it was! I have been punishing myself all of my life through overeating, self-denial, self-sabotage, you name it. Tears came up while I was tapping but they were cleansing because I was, at last, hearing the truth.

I've only had three of your videos ("I Never Belong", "Self-Punishment", "Not Safe to Heal") as well as all of the PDF's. I repeat the "7 Words" all the time and I find them quite comforting to say. I especially like the fact that you've included the positive "Choices" in your videos because I need to know where to go next. I find myself ending the session with a smile.

When I used them the first day, I couldn't believe your words- they felt too foreign even after all of this therapy. However, five days later, I'm nodding my head in agreement as I do my tapping. Interestingly, I have had a much easier time creating healthier boundaries and making healing choices, which is something I wouldn't have expected. Hearing the truth in a non-combative manner, from someone who finally understands me, is like a balm to my heart, mind and soul.

I know through using EFT for so long that specificity is crucial. Yet, I found myself "dancing" around the issue of narcissism because I had never identified it- and nor had anyone else. I have thousands of pages downloaded from Gary Craig's [EFT's founder] original site, not to mention the hundreds of dollars I've wasted on EFT practitioners. The "elephant in the living room" was always missing, so while I found some success I was always just "missing the mark". When I watched your first video, many feelings came up, but mainly recognition. I nodded my head and smiled through the tears as I tapped and thought, "Somebody finally understands me!". My inner child has longed to hear the words that you use in the videos all of my life and I find repeated listening extremely calming and reassuring.

I know that you had worked hard on the wording because I recognize the various techniques that you use. The "art of delivery" comes in- not with the techniques- but the application of them. Most beginners of EFT get stuck with "What do I say?" and you resolve that here beautifully.

So, thank you and I will be eager to buy more!

This is a long message (sorry). But in one week, I am sleeping so much better. I am eating like a "normie" which I haven't done since childhood. And I am finally back in my own body. These are true miracles to me- and I haven't been in therapy in weeks!

What can I say, Danu, but a heartfelt "Thank you"?

Forum member "Hollybear23"

Sounded too good to be true - but it's not!

EFT sounded too good to be true but I have started with Danu's videos and am already feeling a difference.

Each session seems to bring me closer to my subconscious and has more meaning every time. I do it once a day as I find it quite intense. I'm starting to insert my own words while following the videos. My old unbidden thought patterns, “I have never done anything right, I do not deserve to be happy, I am worthless etc. etc.” are now being countered by other thoughts, “I am a human equal to all humans and have only done my best, I deserve to be happy, I have done good things in my life etc etc.” I am taking better care of myself after about a week or so. I feel that just taking a step towards improving self care is a positive thing.

Maybe after the 30 days Danu says is a must, I'll be able to alter the tapping more to my specific issues, but for now, the videos are really helping. So much easier than dragging up awful buried memories, painfully dissecting them, coming to terms and moving on! Weeks instead of years. Awesome!

Forum Member 'Survivor'

"I feel liberated, I feel hopeful, and I feel incredibly grateful."
Hi, Danu! Upon learning that my mother has NPD earlier this year, I wanted to get as much support as possible to help me heal from the trauma of her abuse. Thus, I decided to work with a a certified EFT practitioner for the past few months as a supplement to my work with a therapist. I loved how EFT so quickly and effortlessly help me heal from some really ingrained and deeply held limiting beliefs.. My EFT practitioner kept telling me that I was harboring a lot of shame but because I took for granted so many of my negative beliefs about myself (as you know, that's what happens when you've been raised by a NM), I had a hard time identifying phrases for our sessions. This is when I found your scripts. Most of them were under $20 so I figured I might as well give one a try. Since my therapist had recently pointed out to me that I was taking on a lot of self-help work b/c of a belief that I was somehow flawed, I purchased your tapping script "Feeling Inherently Flawed." I already knew how to tap (and your video was a welcome review) so that night, I pulled out the script and started. I could not believe how on target this entire script was. You really nailed what it's like to be a daughter of a mother with NPD. I sobbed the first time I did EFT with this script. It was as if you had read my mind! But I guess, being a DONM yourself, you're well acquainted with the negative beliefs many of us have. After two weeks, I noticed a significant difference in me. I no longer felt inherently flawed. At all. When I made a mistake, I didn't go into my usual pattern of beating myself up. If someone was rude to me, I did not automatically blame myself. Normally, I have to catch these patterns consciously and then do some self-coaching around my limiting thoughts but with your EFT scripts, it's as if they had been erased from my subconscious. Even my dreams reflected a newfound confidence. I think my posture has even improved! I have tapped daily with this script for a month as you advise your clients to do. Today, I feel like a brand new person. To walk around my own life without this nagging awful belief that something is wrong with me is...well, it's beyond words. I feel liberated, I feel hopeful, and I feel incredibly grateful. Thank you for providing such an outstanding healing resource at such an affordable price. I have already begun referring your EFT scripts to others.
Forum member "Brooke"

That feedback shares the experiences of other DONMs who have benefitted from using EFT. And now you have found your way here - is it because this is your time to heal from this fear - just simply let it go and move on peacefully, able to live your life the way YOU want, not the way SHE wants?

All you have to do is to make the commitment to tap along with it once each day for a about a month - (maybe up to six weeks – although that would be unusually long).

Healing simply does not come any easier than this!

You don't force any change in your thoughts or feelings- if you could have done that, you would have done that!

This process is about letting the pain go, little by little each day, effortlessly, until it's simply gone. Vanished. And once it's gone, it's gone forever.

I personally guarantee that this will work for you, or I'll give you your money back. You'll know in a month if it's working, but I give you a lifetime guarantee.

If you ever want a refund, just send me an e-mail saying so to , including your PayPal Transaction ID (i.e. your receipt number which PayPal will send to you in an e-mail) and I'll refund your payment within one business day.

And you can keep Tap Away: Your Fear Of Her and the bonuses (I didn't tell you about bonuses yet - but they're coming!) as my thanks for having tried it.

So you literally have nothing to lose but the hurt and pain that she has let you go so easily.

Payment is by the safe and trusted PayPal, either using your PayPal account or your credit card. Note: Once you make the payment you'll be brought to a payment confirmation page. Once there, click on the 'Return To Merchant' button and that will bring you to the download page for this resource. The link will also be e-mailed to you.

Listen, if you're serious about healing from this, you cannot afford to turn your back on this opportunity. Either it works, or it costs you nothing. You cannot lose.

All you have to do is to commit to using it. The burden of proof remains with me.

There are two options for getting your hands on this fear-busting Tapping Script. Before I tell you about them, though, let me ask you how much it would cost you to erase the fear of her with traditional therapy. It would be likely to take at least two or three sessions, wouldn't it? (And actually, it still wouldn't erase it as effectively as EFT, but just for comparison's sake ...) - and so at a cost of, say, $80.00 per session,that would be a cost of at least $160.00-$240.00. Bearing this in mind you'll see what good value these resources are.

So, your two options are:

A video to teach you the tapping points, and an e-book with the Tapping Script - this is only $15.00.
As above, with the addition of an audio for you to download (or listen to online). You just follow along with it, tapping where I indicate, and saying what I say. This is only $21.00.

Is it worth less than the price of a meal out, for you to quickly, and easily, and painlessly eradicate all your fear of her and her rages?

Are you - despite what she told you - worth that?

(Note - you will be buying access to videos and manuals to either use online or download. The images of DVDs and manuals are just for illustration purposes. There is no physical product.)

BONUS RESOURCES:

Tap Away: The Fear Of Her is incredibly powerful and will benefit you beyond what you can imagine now. But I wanted to add even more value. So I'm including the following valuable bonuses:

Tap Away: Blocks To Healing You get this with both the manual and the audio package.
Because of the crazy-making way we were raised, we can have all sorts of blocks to healing - feeling we don't deserve to heal, for example. And that can get in the way of all other healing we're working on. This video and accompanying manual solve that problem, if it exists. Simply do this video before the main one.
11 Ideas For EFT In The Rest Of Your Life You get this with the audio package only.
Once you know how to do EFT you have a tool for life literally at your fingertips. This book shows you how to use this in lots of different ways to enhance your quality of life and that of your family.

Frequently Asked Questions
How does it work?	It works on the same basis as acupuncture, except that we use tapping instead of needles.
It sounds like so much mumbo-jumbo to me.	I can understand that. It certainly is not in the mainstream yet. But you can try it risk-free and see for yourself. If it doesn't work, just get your money back.
Isn't it just the placebo affect?	Well, even if it was, would it matter, once it worked? I find it amazing that the medical profession is not investigating the placebo affect more, to try to harness our body's ability to heal itself. But in fact, EFT is not the placebo affect as it works even if you're sceptical, and it works on babies too.
Is it only for daughters of narcissistic mothers?	These videos are specifically created for daughters of narcissistic mothers, and some of the phrasing refers directly to that. But they would still work for others - just say 'fathers' or 'ex' whenever I say 'mother' (or whatever variation suits your specific situation).
Is it safe?	I believe it to be safe or I would not be sharing it, and millions of people all over the world have used EFT safely. But you take full responsibility for your experience of it. I suggest that if you are very emotionally fragile, or are on heavy medication, or any other similar situation, that you do not use these videos. EFT can still work for you, but with a qualified practitioner rather than by yourself.
Can I do EFT on my own, without your scripts?	For sure. Here are the instructions as to how to do EFT itself. The trick is to know what to say while you're tapping to get the best benefit, and my scripts offer that. They are the powerful distillation of seven years' EFT training and experience and my indepth knowledge about being a DONM. They're a short-cut for you, to save you re-inventing the wheel so to speak.
How long do the results last?	They last forever. Once an issue is erased, there is no reason for it to come back.
Will I get upset?	You might. EFT is as gentle as it gets, but it's still possible that emotions can get overwhelming - it's rare, but it does happen. This is not as much of a problem as it sounds, though. Strong emotion is not dangerous in itself no matter that we have been trained to think it is. If emotions overwhelm you as you tap, just keep tapping while you cry, knowing that you are releasing and processing that buried emotion as you do.
What if I feel worse?	This is related to the above question so please read the answer to that too. You might feel temporarily worse, although the scripts are designed to be very gentle and minimise this. But once you keep tapping until you feel better (which should take tens of minutes at most, not hours and hours), then you won't end up feeling worse. Think of it like this: a burst boil looks worse briefly until it's cleaned, but the pus is absolutely better off out of your body than staying in there as poison. And the buried feelings are emotional poison.
What side-effects are there?	One of the gifts of EFT is that there are normally no bad side-effects (no guarantees that you won't be the first though - but thousands upon thousands of people have used it without side effects). As you tap you may well find yourself yawning lots, and sighing lots, and maybe even notice your tummy gurgling. And very, very rarely people experience a break-out of spots. And as mentioned above, occasionally there can be very strong emotion.
How is it different from traditional talk-therapy?	EFT is very different to talk therapy. Although there is a talking element (i.e. you talk when you tap) it's really body work. These traumas and emotions and beliefs are held in the body, and that's where we have to go to heal them.
How does it feel to do it?	It can feel very relaxing, or it can feel very 'nothing'. It shouldn't hurt - if a tapping point is tender, just tap very gently on it, so that it doesn't hurt.
Why do you say to only tap once a day. What if I want to do more?	I recommend once a day for a number of reasons. One is that even once a day is a big commitment for us DONMs who aren't used to looking after ourselves, and that's plenty to be doing. It's far better to do once a day consistently than three or four times a day for a while, and then find it too hard and stop doing it. Another reason is that this way it's not threatening to us. We all have a bias against change - change can feel scary and unsafe and often self-sabotage is an attempt to keep us safe by stopping the change no matter that it's change for the better. By only doing EFT once a day the changes are so subtle that they don't trigger this panic reaction. And thirdly, there are deep and powerful changes at a deep level even doing it once a day, and it's good to let those settle into the system before doing more. It's like, you don't give your plant a month's worth of water at one go as it can only use it a bit at a time and too much water at one go can flood it.
Does it really work?	Yes. It does.

And of course, don't forget the money-back guarantee: If it doesn't work for you, you get all your money back - every last cent.

Look, you don't have to decide now - you can just get Tap Away: Your Fear Of Her, check it over, test it out for as long as you like on a totally no-risk and no-obligation basis, and only then decide if you want to keep it.

Warning: if you close this webpage you are - by doing that -
making the decision to continue experiencing this fear of her.

On the other hand, by getting the video and using it you are committing to your healing and wellbeing. This is a powerful message to send to your subconcious about your worth and value.

So, it's up to you now. I've shared as best as I can what Tap Away: Your Fear Of Her involves and how it can help you. I do hope that for your own sake you will seize this no-lose opportunity. Your decision will not change my life in any way, but it could surely change yours.

My very best wishes for a happy, healthy and fantastically fulfilled future!

Narcissistic Mothers